because she loved you like a desert cactus flower loves the summer rains/loves the shining sun. and because you were fooled enough by society to pretend that you were the better catch. because you let go of the only real thing you ever held, i consider you the poorest man whoever lived.
i am, warm skin and touch. i am, bitterness and love. i am, sleeping in and running. i am, sarcasm and compassion. i am, fear and strength. i am, a little girl and a woman. i am, a daughter and friend. i am, apologies and forgiveness. i am, distant and fading. here and now. yesterday and tomorrow. i am, i am, i am. i am whatever i am in this moment. cradled and content. anger and justice. i am feeling and thought. i am too far into the desert skies to see your confessions of regret. i am too far above, too far below. in the depths of the sea my skin glows and i am too heavy for your simple mind. i’d crush you with the pressure of my truth. with the strength of my feelings. you are nothing, i am the queen.
so stupid, not even 24 hours into “the break” and we mess up. i mess up? sending little tiny nothing concerns of him going on the tube float tomorrow via text which turned them into big concerns because of lack of context. “i don’t want to control your emotions.”
love is such a weird experience.